Saturday, November 29, 2008

This week's Specials

Well folks it's that time of the year again when we have to start thinking of what supplies will be needed for the counter-jihad event that's planned for the holidays.
This time of the year we infidels celebrate a religious event that isn't tolerated very well by a sloven group of unsavory, foul smelling, barbaric, parasitic pig kissers.To combat this anomaly known as ISLAMO-FASCISM, the Sage's House of Ordnance is having a Christmas "BLOW UP" sale that is sure to entice even those who think they have everything needed to kill an extremist.Check these items out. Belt fed 50 caliber Browning with tripod and laser night site; comes with 2,000 rounds of full metal jacket ammunition. With the purchase of this fine piece of art you will be entitled to 30% off of your next purchase of 2,000 rounds.
Here's something unique that's sure to send a chill up Achmed's spine...the Great Sage has inspired his ammunition manufacturer to devise a method in which the bullets for all types of rounds are impregnated with PIG BLOOD. This will give them something to talk about back at the cave.
You may be looking for something along the lines of a do it yourself torture kit. Well look no more soldiers. We have on sale here right now, while supplies last, water boards and accessories. Everything you need to make Achmed and/or Mustaffa feel like he's drowning is now available right here in Canada.
You'll get a 6ft long plank beautifully crafted out of our finest spruce and because it hasn't been planed there'll be plenty of wood slivers protruding upwards so that the pig kissers know they're not at a hollywood sympathizer event. The tub for the water is like no other. It actually has patented elongating technology which, in the case of frustration fatigue on behalf of the interrogator, the slime ball terrorist can be totally submersed head first into the tub.
To make the retrieving of information that much easier the Sage will even throw in a bottle of sulphuric acid which when injected into an artery will give quite the comedy show.
C-4 putty is a must for every good soldier. The possibilities are limitless. With our new and innovative moulds you can design a C4 item that will best suit your purpose. For instance we have the Cell Phone mould. Just think of the surprise Achmed will get when he calls his brothers together for prayer before jihad.
There's too much to tell you about here so come on over and check out the sale.
The first 10 customers will receive 1 50oz bar of pure plutonium along with refining plans and an aerial means of delivery.

Remember a good anti terrorist operative kills first and interrogates later.

The Great Sage.

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