Honest Achmad's Jihadi Deals.
Well come fellow fundamentalists to Honest Achmad's Jihadi Deals.
Today for a limited time only we have a one time special on suicide vests. These vests come in one size but because of our state of the art Velcro tight straps all vests are guaranteed to fit even those extremists who are fashion conscientious.
For the ladies looking to expedite their exit unto paradise, so they can hook up with the 72 virgins, hmmm does that mean that these muslim murderers may be lesbian, anyway, we have vests with that extra bit of padding around the neck area. Here at Honest Achmad's Jihadi Deals we do not like to see our third class citizens wearing anything uncomfortable.
If you're one of those "discriminating jihadists" we have just what you need to help the caliphs drive out the infidels.
As an "offering to Allah" Honest Achmad's will throw in, at no extra charge, 2 lbs of centex complete with C4 booster's. If you don't get the attention of the Jews with this one we will refund your money or donate another vest....to your next of kin of course.
Also, if you have a deep seeded hatred for anything and everybody why don't you check out our mystery gifts.
Just go to the back of the cave and take the stairs down into the dungeon. Your hatred for anything and everything will not go unrewarded. To assist you in your arduous task of torture you'll find extended hooks for pulling out the tongues of anyone and everyone; don't forget my gracious jihadis, it is against Allah's wishes that you touch any part of a pig or an infidel.
For the more inventive jihadi we have compact battery packs C/W electrode wires that attach very easy to genital area; be very careful with this one, after touching genitalia of infidels you must pray facing Mecca for at least two days if it genital of swine then only 20 genuflections will suffice .
Maybe your looking for a comfortable, less noisy way of killing Westerners. Just for you we have a long list of 5year olds who can do the work of Allah for you. That is correct. Before saddam so insane left for paradise he paid very many Palistinian family's $25,000.00 to martyr their sons and daughters ....you be the boss, Allah forbid that you should strap on a vest loaded with Centex and 30lbs of 15mm ball bearings to promote our twisted ideology let them do the dirty work for you.
The big deal of the day though, a Ramadan specialty , I.E.D.'s (improvised explosive devices) purchase 4 with U.S. dollars and receive a limestone tablet, personally chiseled by Mohamed himself before he ascended into the heavens with the inscription Allah ackbar (God is great).
Used turbans and never fired before AK47s are also in stock.
Daggers, RPGs, night vision goggles etc. everything a good jihadist needs.
If you're into comedy you can check out the entertainment section of our cave: you'll hear jokes such as. Hey what did saddam so insane and Fred Flinstone have in common.... When they looked outside they both saw RUBBLE.
And how about this classic...Why is cheese so hard to find in Iraq?....because there are no KURDS. Ha Ha HA x10.
Here's one for the family....what do you call a suicide bomber who over packed his vest with explosives....Baklava Burger .....Ha Ha Ha x10 again. Those muslims find anything funny.
However my good jihadis, get out of your safe house, before it becomes unsafe, get here by camel or stolen jackass, through sand storm or chemical weapon clouds because Honest Achmad's Jihadi Deals has got a big deal for you.
All sales final. Not responsible for involuntary membership to GUANTANAMO BAY. Donor cards are invalid in paradise.
The Great Sage.
Today for a limited time only we have a one time special on suicide vests. These vests come in one size but because of our state of the art Velcro tight straps all vests are guaranteed to fit even those extremists who are fashion conscientious.
For the ladies looking to expedite their exit unto paradise, so they can hook up with the 72 virgins, hmmm does that mean that these muslim murderers may be lesbian, anyway, we have vests with that extra bit of padding around the neck area. Here at Honest Achmad's Jihadi Deals we do not like to see our third class citizens wearing anything uncomfortable.
If you're one of those "discriminating jihadists" we have just what you need to help the caliphs drive out the infidels.
As an "offering to Allah" Honest Achmad's will throw in, at no extra charge, 2 lbs of centex complete with C4 booster's. If you don't get the attention of the Jews with this one we will refund your money or donate another vest....to your next of kin of course.
Also, if you have a deep seeded hatred for anything and everybody why don't you check out our mystery gifts.
Just go to the back of the cave and take the stairs down into the dungeon. Your hatred for anything and everything will not go unrewarded. To assist you in your arduous task of torture you'll find extended hooks for pulling out the tongues of anyone and everyone; don't forget my gracious jihadis, it is against Allah's wishes that you touch any part of a pig or an infidel.
For the more inventive jihadi we have compact battery packs C/W electrode wires that attach very easy to genital area; be very careful with this one, after touching genitalia of infidels you must pray facing Mecca for at least two days if it genital of swine then only 20 genuflections will suffice .
Maybe your looking for a comfortable, less noisy way of killing Westerners. Just for you we have a long list of 5year olds who can do the work of Allah for you. That is correct. Before saddam so insane left for paradise he paid very many Palistinian family's $25,000.00 to martyr their sons and daughters ....you be the boss, Allah forbid that you should strap on a vest loaded with Centex and 30lbs of 15mm ball bearings to promote our twisted ideology let them do the dirty work for you.
The big deal of the day though, a Ramadan specialty , I.E.D.'s (improvised explosive devices) purchase 4 with U.S. dollars and receive a limestone tablet, personally chiseled by Mohamed himself before he ascended into the heavens with the inscription Allah ackbar (God is great).
Used turbans and never fired before AK47s are also in stock.
Daggers, RPGs, night vision goggles etc. everything a good jihadist needs.
If you're into comedy you can check out the entertainment section of our cave: you'll hear jokes such as. Hey what did saddam so insane and Fred Flinstone have in common.... When they looked outside they both saw RUBBLE.
And how about this classic...Why is cheese so hard to find in Iraq?....because there are no KURDS. Ha Ha HA x10.
Here's one for the family....what do you call a suicide bomber who over packed his vest with explosives....Baklava Burger .....Ha Ha Ha x10 again. Those muslims find anything funny.
However my good jihadis, get out of your safe house, before it becomes unsafe, get here by camel or stolen jackass, through sand storm or chemical weapon clouds because Honest Achmad's Jihadi Deals has got a big deal for you.
All sales final. Not responsible for involuntary membership to GUANTANAMO BAY. Donor cards are invalid in paradise.
The Great Sage.
posted by Dave at 4:19 PM
2 comments
